My marriage was difficult from the beginning. We had some good times but more bad through the years. What started as bad moved into abuse. Not physical abuse but other types. The joy in my life was my relationship with God and my beautiful blessings, my children! After way too many years of darkness, seven years ago yesterday, I left, children in tow.

This was never the picture of my life, never! I dreamed, prayed, and waited for change. It did not come. I cried, read the Bible, and prayed, it still did not come. I had been taught that marriage was a covenant. It was a lifelong commitment, which it is, and I was a Christian so I had to stay. A sweet well-meaning friend told me it was my cross to bear.

There was one last gut wrenching happening that changed everything. I sought Godly counsel. This woman was a gem. She was so grounded, soft spoken, and loving. She drew pictures of different relationships, told stories, and then told me the covenant was broken long ago and explained why.

I can vividly remember the moments of feeling God’s love, which kept me grounded. There was the time on the porch in North Carolina. The snow was everywhere, it was a dry cold. I was praying, journaling, and just sitting. The Lord’s presence was there, peaceful, kind, and good. Another such time when I knew I was BeLoved, I had a 20 minute drive to and from work every day. I would pray and sing, at the top of my voice. These were wonderful times! God spoke to me over and over during those drives, it kept me sane. Another time was on my daughter’s back porch, early in the morning. I would sit in a rocking chair reading and praying. This was actually after I had left. Boy, I needed that touch for courage and strength. God came through every time.

The Lord has provided exceedingly and abundantly for my children and for me. He used other people in so many ways to bless us. Things happened that would take way too long to explain, but trust me to say, they were all part of His plan.

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